Reesa Teesa: The Love Bombing, The Tension, and The Abuse

The story of Reesa Teesa (Tereasa Johnson) took TikTok by storm. Many related to the 50-part series, where a beautiful young lady had been subjected to a legion of lies and empty promises by her husband. Tears were shed, anger was expressed, and questions were asked as Reesa Teesa described the painful marriage experience that started during the COVID-19 quarantine period and ended in 2021. The husband had lied about the death of loved ones, his financial status, the number of siblings, and his position at work, among many other things.

I dedicated a whole Saturday night to watching the entire story and completed it on Sunday morning. I couldn’t help but notice the cycles of abuse that I once experienced in a relationship. Here is the breakdown of these cycles:

  1. The Love Bombing Stage. Reesa Teesa describes a time when her ex-husband paid bills, changed tires, and interacted with family cordially. He did not hesitate to take responsibility when she got pregnant. On the day that she wanted a house, a new car, and a trip to London he was ready to foot the bill.

This extreme sweetness and kindness is what love bombing looks like. While other men are hesitant to take care of their women or apologize for anything, emotionally abusive partners go all the way. From my experience, I felt like a queen in a kingdom full of treasures and everlasting pleasure.

  1. The Tension Building Stage. Reesa Teesa describes a moment when things changed abruptly and without explanation. Once the couple tied the knot, the husband became insecure and inconsistent overnight.

This is the moment that the victim starts to question their perception of reality. They are blamed for little things and accused of big things. The abuser could be cheating and accusing the victim of doing the same. I remember being confused and wondering what I did wrong or what had changed. I longed for the love bombing stage. I could have done anything to maintain peace, to go back to the days of bliss and peace.

  1. The abusive stage. Reesa Teesa started to see her husband for who he was at some point. Things stopped adding up. His love was gone and replaced by indifference.

At this point, the tension that had built up before leads to a fully blown abuse. The victim will feel emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted, and they will want to leave the relationship. The tables will turn and the abuser will apologize endlessly. The whole relationship will go back to stage 1, where love bombing defines the day.

Abusive relationships waste people’s time. I know that to be true. It will eventually cause mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder if unaddressed. Sad thing is that Reesa Teesa is not alone in believing that their husband meant what they said. After all, the victim is made to believe that their perception of reality is wrong and hence, has no right or ability to question the abuser.

I came to realize that abusive people are good at what they do and are not afraid to try new tricks if they fail in one area. Their charm keeps the victim hoping and believing that everything will work out. The subtle nature of the abuse creates a sense of confusion. Knowing this, I appreciate Reesa Teesa for talking about her experience because other victims can identify the cycles of abuse and make better choices.